Stress.

We spent the last 3 months preparing for our departure for treatment in the United States. We were constantly plagued by the stress of what we had to organize there, in the USA, and what we wouldn’t manage to settle here, at home. Contrary to appearances, there is an absolute, huge MULTITUDE of things to do before a family trip lasting several months. This stress will disappear completely tomorrow when we take our seats on the plane. It will be replaced by another.

Until now, we haven’t worried much about what matters most—the treatment awaiting Antonina. I think our minds unconsciously drifted away from the traumatic topics we will have to face in the coming months. The hospital, anesthesia, surgeries, unbearable pain, wounds, cleaning them throughout the entire period of wearing the fixator, infections, often very painful daily rehabilitation, and constant stretching. It is all too much, even for a strong adult, yet Antonina must cope with it. I always thought the worst feeling for a parent is watching their child suffer. Now I know it is even worse to consciously inflict this pain and watch her suffer, constantly telling yourself it is for her own good, that it will be better later.

Even though more than 6 years have passed since Antosia’s birth, the question “why” still returns to me sometimes. Why do some children have to fight for their lives and dreams, while others get everything for free? Now, this question does not torment me, it does not bring me to tears or cause sadness. I know there is no good answer to it. Every attempt is just some convoluted effort to offer comfort. Since there are no good answers, it is not worth dwelling on them. Each of us on this Earth has been given a certain amount of time under certain circumstances. Our task is simply to do our best. Plain and simple.

We would like to thank everyone who made it possible for us to go to the USA now and continue fighting for our beloved Antosia’s mobility. We promise to do our absolute best!